The Importance of Taking Care of Your Introvert Self

I have always been an introvert. On the Myer-Briggs scale, I am considered an INFP personality type: introverted (energized by time alone rather than with others), intuitive (focuses on ideas/concepts rather than details/facts, feeling (makes decisions based on feelings/values), and perceiving (spontaneous/flexible rather than organized/planned). While I’ve never paid for a professional test, all of the ones I’ve done have come up with the same answer and nearly everything about an INFP rings true for me.

As a pre-teen and teenager, I was both an introvert and shy, which made it extremely difficult for me to feel comfortable socializing with new people or large groups up until my late teens. While I love the introvert part of myself, I hate the feelings of stress and self-consciousness that social situations bring for me. I can’t count the number of times I’ve gotten to the door of a cafe on a first date only to turn and walk back to my car. Or stopped myself from taking part in experiences because I didn’t feel comfortable enough.

As I have gotten older, I continuously try to work on these parts of myself to overcome that. If you met me today, depending on what situation you meet me in, you might not think I was shy at all. But every single day I am making a very conscious effort to not be shy or reclusive.

For example, whenever I approach someone new, strike up a conversation, pass along a compliment to a random person, join a day trip as a solo traveler, sit down to eat alone in a restaurant where everyone is having a meal with someone. All of these are situations where it would be much easier for me to walk away, do it on my own, or simply not eat because I don’t want to be the only person in a restaurant alone. But, there is a difference between being shy and being an introvert.

As a solo female traveler who has spent the last nineteen months traveling on her own, as well as the majority of my previous trips being solo, I am very comfortable being by myself. In fact, I would go so far as to say that I am good at being on my own. I excel at it. I can spend days, even weeks on my own, and be perfectly happy with it. Now, let me just say that this does not mean that I don’t like people. I love people! In fact, I’ve chosen a career that means I am interacting with people all day, every day. I enjoy sharing moments with others and meeting new people, love having inspiring conversations, and like to experience the nightlife in a new place.

BUT!

I need some me time. I don’t just want to spend some time alone, I need it to be a functionally sane and happy person. I need it every. single. day. That means, after spending an entire day surrounded by people and doing amazing things, I might decline joining them all for dinner in favor of being at home, alone. Honestly, something that I love most in this life is enjoying my safe, cozy, private space for a few hours in the evening. Call me boring, I fucking love it. In a world that admires the extroverts, people don’t always understand our needs for space and it can be hard to be an introvert and accept your true self. But I think it is so, so, so important to embrace who we are –  to love and to nurture the introverted parts of ourselves.

There are so many wonderful ways to nourish your introvert self.

It can be as simple as carving out some time every week to be on your own.

It can be using your lunch break at work to go on a walk in nature.

It can be declining plans one evening to stay in and read that book you started.

It can be using whatever mode of creativity you enjoy to express yourself.

It can be as over the top as renting yourself a private villa in Bali for a few days.

Normally, I opt for just having alone time every evening at home. This week, I’ve splashed out and rented that villa. After spending my time in Australia as an au pair, with very little space for myself, I came to Bali with one thing on my mind: reconnect, rejuvenate, recharge. To be still.

For me, that meant finding an affordable villa with a private pool for me to embrace my hermit-mode loving self and now, here I am. I’m currently sat outside at sunset, watching the sky turn from blue to pink as bats fly around the trees and the pool. I have barely left the property for two days except to restock food, water, and beer. Mostly, my only interaction has been with dogs or playing peek-a-boo with the lizard who lives behind the painting in my room. It has been GLORIOUS and so far, this might be my favorite part of my Bali trip.

My days have been spent as simply as they can get. I wake up, make myself breakfast and drink a cup of tea. I lay in the sun, read a book and swim in the pool. I meditate in the corner gazebo, think about my ambitions in life from this point onward, and write. I go for a little walk, get some dinner (to go, because I’m in hermit-mode remember), and drink a beer as the sun goes down.

It is beautiful, private, relaxing, and leaves me very much alone.

It is exactly what I have been needing and to leave tomorrow morning will be a sad day, indeed. Although I know I am on to exciting new places, to see some beautiful things and probably meet some beautiful people. If I want to.

Why is it important to take care of your introvert self?

I think that one of the most important things in life is to live in a way that is authentically true to you. Different people have different personalities and different personalities need to be nourished in different ways. An outgoing extrovert might read about how I’ve spent the last two days and think of nothing worse.

No matter what your personality type, no matter how you find your energy, our personalities are things that create the soul within us. They have needs. There are things that make them curl up, hide, and drain them. There are also things that make them beam and light them up with energy. It doesn’t really matter what I do to nurture my introvert self – it matters that you also nurture your introvert self, or your extrovert self, or any self in between. When we forget to do this we usually find ourselves feeling frazzled, stressed, unenthusiastic, drained, lost, complacent.

However it might look for you, you need to embrace it, to love it, and to take care of it. If you aren’t sure where to start or what lights your soul up, do some thinking. Experiment with it and find out. It is an important part of who you are and when you learn how to nourish it and let it flourish, it will enrich all areas of your life and you’ll go forward with more confidence and certainty about what type of things and people you need to fill your life with.

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? What do you do to make sure you’re taking care of yourself?